some of us laugh, some of us cry, some of us smoke, some of us lie... but it's all, just a way that we cope with our life - starsailor : some of us

Friday, April 30, 2004


i got a dream last night that the UPU result is coming out. i don't remember the rest of the dream, but i'm pretty scared that i couldn't get a place in any universities. maybe the excessive talking about studies with Nik last night caused that dream. will you guys pray that i will be accepted in any IPTA for this july intake? ke gua nak kena nazar botak gak? eh??

anyway, i think my family will be spending this labour day with my uncle's family. going to tanjung leman, maybe. anybody wants to join?

Thursday, April 29, 2004

Beach Boys - Wouldn't it be nice

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

i've just finished downloading The Beach Boys - Wouldn't it be nice. ah..gua tak kira gak. nak cakap gua tiru fahmi pun cakap ah. miahahahahaha!

dah dah..nak gi buat keje umah. kata suri rumah yg berjaya. heheheh..

seriously, it doesn't matter

finally!! i'm able to post something inside this blog again after installing netscape browser. fewww!! thanks to miss nurul for bringing up the solution for this problem. anyway, i've just posted below, to what have been yesterday's issue, today. at first, i didn't want to post it, but what da hell. i don't want to waste my time typing things which is later to be deleted. it's just a matter of appreciating my effort, and of course, explaining those things.

i'm going to blame fahmie for mentioning the beach boys song inside his blog. now i got this tunes inside my head. the song is nice, really. for you out there who're wondering what's the title of the song, i think it is 'wouldn't it be nice' by the beach boys. and i think 50 first date was the best romantic comedy movie i've ever watch.

sometimes i think i'm being childish. or is it all the time?? maybe the boredom and loneliness have messed my mind to be such a childish person. or maybe i just want someone talk to. yeah..i'm always blaming my surrounding when it seems that supposedly i'm the one to blame. what the hell, the issue is over.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

kata dulang paku serpih? bukan...bukan

I guess I'm really sucks at explaining things orally. Maybe it's hard for me to get a grip of ideas while explaining things. Or maybe I just sucks at explaining things, let it be orally or literally. So let me straight things out.

I was explaining my opinion on peoples with ideas or belief that we didn't agree with. Let just put it this way. There's a group of people who eats with their right hand. And there's another group who eats with their left hand, which they didn't do at the first place and they're doing it for the reason they belief is true. I'm highlighting the 'they' here to stress that I'm not saying that either one side is right or the other is wrong. Lets just ignore the right and wrong first. I'm only stating my opinion here; so let me finish this first. Ok, lets just say that the right-handed eaters despise and hate what the left-handed eaters are doing. The question is, what good will it does to both sides?

As far as I can think of, the left-handed eaters would care less about what the right-handed eaters are saying, as they didn't see the point why they should follow the right-handed eaters way of eating. And the right-handed eaters would never see the results they wanted to see from the left-handed eaters, which is to be right-handed eaters as they are.

So why keep on hating each other when no good is done by doing so? From what I believe, if we want to change something, explain why we think it's right to the people we think are doing it wrong. If we don't want to do that, don't end up hating each other, as nothing is gained by doing so. But of course I'm more of a 'preacher' than a doer.

Ok..maybe my explanation still sucks, sorry. Or maybe the word hate is too harsh, sorry again. I'm not bringing up things, I'm only trying to explain to what has been a misunderstanding to this issue and find it relevant to share it with others. That's why I'm posting it in this blog. It's not ‘kata dulang paku serpih’ eh. I'm not saying that I’m right either. As what I've said before, I'm just trying to explain to what has been a misunderstanding. Anyway, I'm open to opinions, so comment anything if you want.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

kelantan, terengganu, kuantan, cameron, penang?

finally, i'm able to post something here. but mind you, it is not because i'm offended by the so called normah who is saying that i'm lazy for not updating anything inside this blog ;P . my PC got this problem which avoids me to access my blogger account, which is essential for me to update my blog. the problem also makes me unable to delete unwanted emails and as well as accessing my email at so, i decided to re-install my windows ME to see if it will get it fixed. i think it isn't fully fixed as i still couldn't get through

and i've finished fixing kompot's PC today. hope nothing will go wrong as if it do, he will ask me to fix it again, which sometimes causes me a headache as i'm not a computer wizard or technician or anything close to it. i just know how to format a hard disk, that's all. but maybe i can make some money from it eh? so...anyone wants me to format his/her hard disk? i'll charge RM 50 for the starting price. price is negotiable. anyone? eh???

Monday, April 26, 2004

ring-ring card : RM3

today was a great achievement for me, a lazy jerk. i started painting my house as early as 10.00 am. i know that's not what early should mean, but lets just say that i manage to start painting my house today after weeks of planning to do so. and for the whole day, i didn't turn off my PC as i was also figuring what the hell happend to kompot's hard disk that make it impossible for me to install Windows XP inside it. at last, i decided to install Windows ME instead, before his CPU ended on the bottom of the river in front of my house.

her : "...kejam betul la u ni." - the end of my conversation with her.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

somebody's missing? day is packed today as i have to help my mother fill out this so called 'borang pemantauan pengajaran & pembelajaran'. it makes the time pass faster on me. and i have to help kompot formatting his hard disk. so i have to juggle between filling the form and formatting the hard disk. both of it have to be done by this night. my mom and kompot promised that they will give me some sort of token for these jobs. dapat gak gua duit :P

i don't know when i'm able to start painting my house. it seems that my days are already filled with my daily chores, which is doing the laundry, washing the dishes, bla bla bla.. and sleeping. sounds like i'm effeminate huh? who cares.. well, the point is, i couldn't find any suitable time to fit in so that i could paint my house. if there's any free time, it would be in the late evening, which i wouldn't consider painting in the late evening as it would be a hassle to do so. how can i earn some money if i didn't do any jobs? maybe i'll just ask for an advance. hehehehe...

and somebody's missing here...

Saturday, April 24, 2004

we don't need no education? (part II)

retup> aku takut kang dah jumpa ko kang tak dapat belajo
retup> hahahahaha
remain|of|the|day> ha
remain|of|the|day> ko kene positif
remain|of|the|day> aku skarang scorer

i realize now that i'm not being positive. all the way since i've got kicked out of uitm, i'm not being positive about my studies. got to get rid of that for now. or maybe i'll face the same consequence. i hope i won't.

"sekarang zaman kegelapan ko ah ju. sama cam aku dulu." - kompot


today is saturday...and i miss her

"oh..aku beli malboro light eh? aku ingatkan marlboro free" nik berkata dalam keperlian.

i've just came back from chilling out, again. but no more danga bay. just lepak2 at larkin perdana with some ex schoolmates. they are some of my ex schoolmates who're still keeping in touch. school was great, but i guess i won't attend the gathering at pulau pangkor.

i have to paint my house tomorrow. so that i can collect some money. i need a lot of them in the near future.

i'm sleeping...

Friday, April 23, 2004

tidur di pagi hari

i'm so obsessed with mp3s these days. i can spend up to 3 to 4 hours downloading songs, sometimes while i'm sleeping. but not today. it's not that i'm not downloading any songs at this moment. but not 4 hours. i know how hard it is to pay the bill, although it's not me who's paying it in this house.

i'm gonna paint the house today! no no, maybe tomorrow. oh..tomorrow is saturday. maybe next week.

we don't need no education?

i've just recieve a prospectus book from a university in UK. yah, i'm thinking of furthering my studies in UK and i'm doing some survey regarding the universities there, but only if i'm able to get some financial aid from MARA. guess what? the tution fees of most of the universities there were about 10000++ pounds! after doing some calculations, i figure out that i have to pay my loan for about 20 years to settle it. at that point, i totally changed my mind and decided that i won't go there even if i got the loan. but then, a friend told me not to think of how much will i pay for the loan. just go there, bust your ass, and you'll come back rich. i don't know whether he's right. in some part, it do make sense. in some part, it don't. especially about busting my ass. but it is shorter to pursue your study in degree there if you've already obtained a diploma, which is 2 years, compared to local universities, which is 3 years. i'll miss my friends, and of course i'll miss her. ah..macam la aku confirm dapat pegi! maybe i'll just wait till the results for the confirmation of the loan to come out, then i'll decide.

i've just came back from chilling out with some friends in danga bay. yes..Danga Bay. not so many people there as it wasn't even weekend. i think it would be nicer in the evening. i'm tired. update something later..

Thursday, April 22, 2004

test test 123..

i'm just testing my new blog title

i'm quite lazy updating my blog recently. i don't have an interesting life to share, or maybe i would like to keep the interesting part of my life by myself, and the other persons.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

i guess my link section seems to be flowing out of control. ah..i don't care. check out the new links!

is this world beautiful?
it was beautiful....
now, only part of it is beautiful..
and you're one of them..

:: excerpt taken from somewhere??

Monday, April 19, 2004

i've just watched phonebooth, which was recomended by dean. it is a story about a guy (colin farell) who are threatened to be killed if he leaves this phonebooth. as usual, i'm just too lazy to write about the whole story now. maybe later. i was about to watch the other vcd i've bought when suddenly i changed my mind and decided to save it for tomorrow's boredom. besides that, i have to ask permission from someone to watch it. so, can i? can i??

Sunday, April 18, 2004

today i've been through the burning sun for one reason, to get out of the house. yeah..finally i'm able to make it more than 3 feet out of my house. it's not such an interesting outing or a monumental trip. i just go out to buy 2 vcds recomended by syikin and dean. i end up roaming around the shopping complex for about an hour or more. after that i bought this delicious murtabak before i went to larkin as i remembered that zeezam told me that a gig will be held there today. but there's not a single person around that dewan dato onn and even the gate was closed. maybe the gig was held yesterday, i can't actually remember what zam had told me about the date of that gig. so i went straight home and have a feast of the delicious murtabak i've bought with my families. so if anyone wondering where the hell did they sold this delicious murtabak, it's just in front of masjid jamek kampung melayu. you'll find one stall there which are selling murtabak. pergh..macam jalan2 cari makan pulak aku promote kedai orang.

she told me that i'm being fierce to her nowadays. i guess it is boredom that makes me that way. coz sometimes, i would just want to scream my lungs out because of this boredom, which will attract all the people in my neighbourhood, and create a possibility that someone might call the tanjung rambutan mental hospital. and although i didn't have a metal problem, all the people in my neighbourhood will think that i do have a mental problem and they will end up staring at me as if i'm one of the teletubbies in the television. but the only family i know in this neighbourhood is the family besides my house. so maybe i'll just scream my lungs out tomorrow as nobody will know me except for the family besides my house, which i assume wouldn't end up staring at me as if i'm the green teletubbies because they know that i'm not mentally ill. so the point here is, i'm not mad at anyone, it's just i'm too bored.

Saturday, April 17, 2004

i've just woken up from my sleep. actually, i wasn't about to sleep. i was reading this book i borrowed from acad called junky. it's written by a drug addict about his life as a junky. i haven't finished reading it though, so i can't make a review out of it.

today is a lame saturday...


"i wonder how my saturday will be without you..."

i'm gonna add 2 new links inside my blog. you can click below or find it the the *Link* section on the left.

:: balboa - an awesome band. play emo violence with the touch of dark metallic and sometimes melodic sound.

:: crowpath - a bulldozing metalcore band from sweden.

Friday, April 16, 2004

i don't really know who's viewing my blog. but thanks to those who have viewing this infinite rants of mine and to all who have spent some of their time shouting something inside my shoutbox. the so called normah seems to have the highest ranking on my shoutbox if measured from quantities :P . maybe it's because she's one of the person out there who're constantly viewing my blog. but don't worry, i'm not ranking anyone who had posted something inside my shoutbox. i appreciate your effort to do so. thanks again people!!

i'm still in JB. i wouldn't left JB until the time is right...maybe. but now i'm having a soar throat since the first day i'm in JB. i wonder what's polluting the air here that almost everytime i'm back here in JB, i'll get this soar throat and eventually, i'll have a fever. i hope i won't catch a fever this time.

my school mate will be having a gathering at pulau pangkor this may. i wonder if i should join them. but i'm broke. but the fee is very reasonable, which is RM150 for 3 days stay at pulau pangkor. ahh..i still have time to figure it out.

and guess what? i wake up early almost every morning since i'm here. ok, it's because i have to close the gate for my mom, dad and sis. so what? i slept early too. staying up late with no friends to accompany you is dull. enough for this time. i want to have my breakfast : part II.

songs downloaded until now:

:: Horse the band (still struggling to finish downloading both their album)
:: Dead By 6 - demo (awesome metalcore band hailing form singapore! they've played in HCgala vol 3. click on the link to know more!)
:: Crowpath (i hope uda will be available this morning so i can dl crowpath from him)
:: In ashes we lie (only downloaded one song)
:: Asobi Seksu (only downloaded one song from her. jap emo rock?)

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

i've just found the cd containing the pictures from my convocation day. some people say that convocation are one of the memories we should kept all of our lives. it is because some people isn't fortunate enough to finish their studies, or even to have an education. surely it bring me memories looking at those pictures. i don't know weather it is because i'm proud of having my diploma or is it because i got kicked out of Uitm on the same year of my graduation day. for those who didn't know, i've got kicked out of uitm after my first semester of degree. and now i'm doing nothing.

but surely convocation is no big deal. its the same thing as having your certificate, diploma or degree from the faculty office. the difference is, you won't have to wear that oversized robe (no matter how big or tall you are, the robe will always seems bigger than you. and that's why they call it robe!), there's no flashy and colourful light that make you look like a silly rockstar (reminder : that robe will make you look silly!) and you don't have to shake hands with the vice chancelor to recieve what ever you're recieving. there are some other differences of course, try to figure it yourself. i don't have to spoonfeed you all the way right?

the point is, people will look silly on their graduation day. so choose for yourself. i'm also suggesting an alternative. if you still want to look silly but you don't prefer so many people looking at you while you're recieving your transcript, borrow your friends robe while you're taking your transcript from your faculty's office. so now everybody will have their silly looking convocation day!!

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

i'm having fried rice for my lunch, exclusively cooked by ME! there's nothing to be proud about since none of the ingredient inside the fried rice i've cooked include any rare animals part and making a fried rice isn't as hassle as making asam pedas (is it? coz i've never tried making asam pedas). and this isn't my first time cooking fried rice either, so what am i trying to proof here? nothing actually. just let me have my own taste of achievement since i seldom cook anything. but there are some part in making the fried rice which i have to improve. the salt is the most essential part which i constantly undermine it's ability to make food taste better. i just don't know how much to be put inside a meal. and the oil i've used to cook my fried rice just now is a little bit too much. maybe if i include some fishball or fish cakes, my fried rice would taste better, with some additon of salt of course. there's still some of it on the pan. anybody want some? anybody who haven't eaten their lunch yet, or maybe is starving for just having instant noodle for lunch.

now i'm back (again!) in the comfort zone of my home in JB. the nicest thing to be at home is not having to have the thought of how to prevent overbudget by cutting my expenses on food. i've just have my breakfast which consist of a piece of roti canai and two cup of hot tea. ahhh..tell me if there's anything nicer than to have a hot tea in the morning. i don't know for how long i'll be here. maybe one week, maybe two, i don't know.

and my father didn't even know that i'm home. he's not here when i arrived home last night. or maybe there's a lack of communication in this house.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

i've got this choc from syikin. i usually get to taste chocolates only at home, and it was very nice to taste my fav choc given by somebody.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

i've just watched trainspotting yesterday. the story is about a bunch of people living in sweeden (i think) who're addicted to heroine. from my point of view, some part of the story could get pretty disgusting, and sometimes it's funny. some parts of it are sad but most of it was depressing, especially when the baby is dead.

this story reminded me of one of my relatives (i don't even know what relation we have), who died because of drug overdose. he already had a wife, with one kid, but still he do drugs. and on the day he died, i heard his father said "i didn't regret that he died". i don't know whether he really meant it or not but the point is, even a father could despise his own son because of drugs.

new layout in da house!! but i don't know how to get rid of the ad. maybe someone can help me. eh miss nurul asyikin?

i've just fetch din from his cousin's house. his cousin house is neat, with the beautiful landscape and water fountain.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

yesterday, i worked as a parking boy for an event in stadium malawati along with acad, peja, nasir and juea. thanks to norly for telling us about the job. i can't write more. i only have 2 more minutes before i have to get out of this cyber cafe. have a nice day people!!

Friday, April 02, 2004

i'm still hoping that the agency which is responsible to 'give' me a job will soon find a job for me. i paid 96 ringgit for it!! damn that ideal icon company!!

some of the people in the house which i'm staying are still searching for a job. even acad have to wait next month for his brother to give him a job. so my day isn't just filled with myself, or at least myself and dean. and someone inside the house bought some vcds, so that we could kill the boerdom.

my situation now isn't understandable to anyone, even myself, and i didn't even want to understand it. maybe it's because i didn't care for myself. someone who cares might want to.

there's a price to pay for not being honest...