some of us laugh, some of us cry, some of us smoke, some of us lie... but it's all, just a way that we cope with our life - starsailor : some of us

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

i'm blank. that's the best words to describe myself. i don't know where i'm heading, or what am i doing. i don't know what i'll do today, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. my mind isn't in synchronize with my surroundings anymore. i'm avoiding everything, i succumb to my sleepy head. i'm not reading anything as everything seems not so intersting to my eyes. i have to search for a job instead of waiting and wasting my money calling that damn company about my status. i have to go back if i'm not able to get a job. i know i've been saying this about a thousand times. i want a job!!!!!!


--"aaa..dia tengah tido ah"--

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

lokman had gone back to his brother's house and azam is at his auntie's house. i'm left with dean. and syikin had a flu..

Monday, March 29, 2004

i really didn't care much about my financial nowadays. i'm always thinking about going somewhere or doing something when i got some money. that's why i'm always broke. it's not that i didn't have any money inside my savings, but it is just not enough to support me living here in shah alam without any other financial income to rely on. i guess i'm being careless about my future. am i? i only want to spend my time doing things i want to do before i won't be able to do it. i'm not talking about the sex things (i know what you guys are thinking), but i think this is the best time to do the things i wanted to do. since i'm not studying now, i guess this is the best time. but my financial problem always gets in the way. i want to concentrate with my studies if i have the opportunity after this, and i really hope i will.

i think i've got some minor adjustment in attitude lately. i hope it's good.

i've just came back from rambo's gig in kl. what an awesome show!! i got all this tepung in my hair from the gig. my feet hurt so much as i was in the mosh pit wearing my sandals. surely it hurts when everybody isn't aware with what they're stepping at while they all insanely 'dance' with the music. but it was really fun moshing although sometimes out of nowhere, someones elbow landed on my face without any warning. i was really tired now and i got this little headache. my car was really pack with dean, pudin, azam, norly and lokman inside.

i'm still on the mood with the trip i've been with dean to lokman house. it was really peacefull there, and it was only an hour from seremban :) .although we didn't do much activities there, and we didn't even go to the sawah padi behind his house, i still consider it as one of the most pleasent journey i have. maybe i'll go there again when i have the time and money.

i'm leaving my house in seksyen 7 as all of us decided that we didn't want to rent it there. we'll go seperate ways now. i think i'm not as close with my house mates (or i could say, ex housemates) as i was before i got kicked out of UiTM. maybe i just want to get rid of those memories while i was in UiTM. i won't be in UiTM anymore, i hope.

Friday, March 26, 2004

yesterday, dean, man and i went to seremban. actually, the plan was to go to man's house in bahau, but we decided, or maybe, at least i decided that we stop by seremban to meet miss nurul asyikin. we reached seremban at 4.30 pm. we met farid shah while waiting for syikin to come.
music along the journey : the darkness.

we have satay for our dinner at R&K restaurant. then, we decided to have this lepak-lepak program at senawang. me and man have this wonderful ice cream, courtesy of miss nurul asyikin (again...).

me, man and dean continue our journey to bahau at about 10 o'clock. all along the journey, we chatted a bit about our program for tonight and tomorrow. this is my first time driving along bukit putus. the condition at bukit putus didn't seem as terrible as while i'm still studying. we reached man's house at about 11 o'clock.
music for the journey : slayer & municipal waste.

after taking a bath, we watched some television programme before plugging the cd player and watch some movies.
movie for the night : anarchist cookbook & battle royale 2

and today, we went to ulu bendul. lokman don't want to take us to jeram tengkek, so we just went to ulu bendul. i'm too lazy to write about it. i'll update you guys with the trip later.
music along the journey : iron maiden & in flames

"uih..kocut dah tangan den ni haa..-lokman kassim"

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

i haven't talk to syikin tonight. she's asleep...she must be tired. gud nite people!

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

today, i've slept for about 12 hours. it's not like that i'm really sleepy, stoned or something, it's just i have nothing to do that i decided to continue sleeping. when i woke up, i felt like i'm inside another world. rasa cam bodoh gila. tu la deh..tido lelama lagi. at first, i decided not to eat until dinner, but i couldn't stand my hunger anymore. at about 6 o'clock, i ate nasi campur alone, all by myself, since all my housemates have already eaten.

i think it's really hard for people who migrates to other places to search for a job. they have to consider a place to stay as well as some money before they could get a job. and the hardest part is getting a job. i've experienced this thing since i've been kicked out of UiTM and decided not to go back to my hometown. i've been trying to search for a job since then, but to no avail. but of course i have to eat everyday and pay for my house rent as well. i nearly used all my money from my savings, and now my all my housemates decided to get the hell of the house we rent as they've decided to find a new place to live for their next semester. i guess i have to find a new place to park my ass if i want to stay here.

i guess now i know the hard part about living...

Monday, March 22, 2004

"in the human existance, the chance to hate is an opportunity we won't be missed"

sometimes i wonder why some people tend to keep their hatred for something for so long. yeah, it's impossible to live a life without hate, but why must we hold grudge and keep the hate in us for so long? i didn't believe that by hating something that oppose to what we believe in would change something or someone to be what we want it to be. we're living in a world where people live in cliques and groups. from what i've seen, if we're attacking someone psychologically or merely hating him/her because they're doing something we didn't agree, it wouldn't do any better, or if possible, worse! we might just create a larger group of enemy based on hatred. i don't believe that we can make a change through hatred. maybe in some more complex cases, there are exclusion, i don't know.

i'm so tired of the ongoing hatred. lets go to bed...

Sunday, March 21, 2004

now i'm back in shah alam. nothing to say much...

Saturday, March 20, 2004

i'm so tired adjusting the template on this blogger so that the page will appear. but still...
i should have spent most of my time at home downloding songs, not repairing this blogger, and tomorrow, i'm going out of JB.

i won't have any handphone until a few weeks. so just email me if you guys have anything.

Friday, March 19, 2004

my handphone got some problem. at first, without touching any part of it, it just went off. i assume that the battery got some problem so i charged it. but still nothing happens. now i can't switch it on, no matter how long i charged the battery. damn! now i've missed her morning calls already, and for sure i'll miss her evening call as well. moreover, i've just topped up my prepaid! although i barely make outgoing calls, but it case of emergence, it will be useful. and it's the imcoming calls that are most important. i hope that i only need a few buck to get it repaired or i have to live my life, for how long i don't know, without the handphone.

i'll be going out of my hometown again tomorrow morning (i hope so as i haven't bought any ticket yet). i hope that i'll get a job as soon as possible. i'll be bored to death if i didn't get any job as most of the peoples in shah alam have gone back to their hometown. only just a few will be staying in shah alam.

i wonder how my fishes are doing...

i don't know what's wrong but everytime i keep changing this blog layout, nothing seems to go right. just like the layout before this, the picture wouldn't show. i'm not a web designer or anything close to it, but just call me stupid if you want. thanks anyway for the help of miss nurul asyikin. i've got no mood to write anything as i've spent most of my time online trying to find a new layout, a new picture and trying to figure out what's wrong with the template.

i hope i'm able to enjoy the world outside, let it be blistering hot or raining cats and dogs. i've spent most of my time inside the house!

ah..about the F1 ticket, no one still interested?

Thursday, March 18, 2004

ok..i manage to change the picture above after minutes of adjusting the picture using paint software. enjoy! new blog with a new layout. actually i don't really like this layout. it's the picture above that's bothering me. maybe i'll change that later. i don't have much to write, so i just paste what i've written currently in the journal section at myspace..

i've just finished reading a book which, as usual, i borrowed from syikin entitled 'Forbidden Love'. it's a story about how a muslim girl, fell in love with a catholic guy, in a country which still practice honour killing. this book surely have a lot of feminisme inside but what the writer trying to potray is the honour killing, which a killing that 'can' be done in the name of the honour of the family, when any female members of the family brought disgrace to the family. the punishment is done without any questions, further investigation or not even any witnesses. this 'code of honour' is a practice preserved from even before islam and christian emerge. in fact, this honour killing is practiced not even by muslim, but even christians, who realize that they're arabic.

even islam oppose the idea of punishing people without the presence of 3 witnesses during the act of guilt. and moreover, claiming an innocent women of adultry, (which they surely didn't do it as i already mentioned the word innocent) is considered one of the biggest sins in islam, and i'm sure about what i'm saying.

back to the book i'm talking about, the father of this women killed her by stabbing her 12 times to her body! that's really sickening man! her own father killed her without even investigating the truth. just grab one of this book or try to borrow it from anyone who had bought it. go to the link below for more info (maybe it will have some more info soon):