some of us laugh, some of us cry, some of us smoke, some of us lie... but it's all, just a way that we cope with our life - starsailor : some of us

Thursday, May 26, 2005

after an empty night..

i'm still downloading syikin's pictures on flickr. so many of it. and this morning, i sent my dad, along with my adik2 and 'makcik' to tabung haji. they're going for umrah for about 2 weeks. i haven't decide to go back to sah alam tomorrow or on saturday. the only reason i want to go back on saturday is to meet syikin, but i've already said to my mom that i will go back on friday morning. besides that, i want to gain extra working hours this month as i wasn't satisfied with my salary for my previous month.

i've mention about the gig last sunday right? well, one word to describe it, FUN! yeah, of course it isn't qualified to be called a gig, of course the place is small, of course the place is hot as sauna, but believe me, the atmosphere, energy and passion was damn great. kudos and thanks to the organizer.

besides that, it was the first time, we, as a band, perform outside kl. yeah, my hometown is in jb, but i'm excited as well. just imagine going for a long journey with your friends, talking shits and craps along the way. it was fun. even on the way back, when i was feeling so damn tired, i refuse to sleep coz it would be meaningless if i sleep during a long journey with friends. i'm thinking about writing a proper documentation about the journey, but maybe later, or maybe none will come out.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

i used to hate kl, now i hate it even more..

today, i went back to jb. yeah, u guessed it right, now i'm at my hometown, inside my room, along with my cat which are sleeping undisturbedly on my bed.

i've just finished my final exam this morning. the paper was ok, except for a few question which i couldn't answer. i'm really hoping i could excell for this subject.

today, depression attack me so bad that i felt numb for quite a moment. i don't know how to describe the moment. i was at seremban to met my girlfriend but i was too late. too late to see her, but i was never too late to hope. that's why i still dare to make my way to seremban. but the reasonable fact is, we didn't have our chance today. i'm numb to the bone till my bus arrives. i'm still blaming myself.

i wanted to write about the gig last sunday, but maybe later.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005


today is my second day at the library after the holiday started. to tell the truth, yesterday was my first time studying at the main library in UM. all these while, i was studying at my faculty library (actually, it couldnt be counted as studying since most of the time, i was either reading the newspaper or accessing the internet) or at my room. the library was almost empty since it was holiday. oh, i forgot to mention that my final exam will be on this 24th May.

i think i got to go far from the computers or else, i'll end up in front of this pc all day without studying. so..bye bye...

Sunday, May 15, 2005

don't crack under pressure.

i realize now that i'll easily crack under pressure when i'm overloaded with things to do. same as yesterday, during my working hours without enough staff on the dining area. maybe some of you guys couldn't imagine how is it to work on pizza hut's dining area during the weekend with only 3 staff and one preagnant manager. it's not that our store didn't get that many customer during the weekend, but without enough staff, things get pretty out of control. i'm relieved when i was asked to wash the piled up dishes since the dining area ran out of clean dishes and cutleries. even though washing dishes means i have to produce extra strength to wash and then diliver the piling dishes to the dining area, it's better than having to have so many things on my mind, customer calling to have their order taken, to deliver those pizzas and to clean those so called comfy tables for customer who refuse to seat at other tables which was already prepared with dishes and cutleries, just because they wanted to sit there. sometimes i see that dealing with human being is much more complicated that what it seems. eventhough all of us are human being. ironic isn't it?

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


i'm waiting for her...

still waiting...

and waiting...

not again!!

another writing by hishamuddin rais...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

recess time?

i was reading this article by hishamuddin rais and at the same time, i remember what dean have said about our country recession. dean said that if we could analyze clearly, our country will have recession in every 10 years. and the next recession was scheduled on 2008, if i'm not mistaken. and what hisham said in his article couldn't be more true, except that he's stressing on IT course while as i see it, any course will face the same risk. just let me put it this way. i still have 3 more years to complete my studies, and if i complete my studies by schedule, it would be 2008 at that time, the forecasted recession year. even now, they've estimated that about 90000 students are unemployed, what if it's true that we will have another recession on 2008? how many people have loose their job during the 1997 recession? and how many students have loose their privillage to study overseas during that time? this just got me thinking. my teacher once said during secondary school that my batch was the critical batch. he said that because after our batch, the education system will change a lot. so if we're somewhat left behind, we have to cope up with the education system that we're not familliar with. now i can see that it's not only the education system, it's the economic system as well.

i'm not commenting on hisham's writing. it's just got me thinking about other situation as well. but i agree on some of what he said, not all. just read it, and think for urself.

Monday, May 09, 2005

biskut dan neskepe

last sunday, i went to lokman's house, again (macam artis lak lokman ni nak kena datang melawat dia tiap2 minggu), along with dean and syikin. we wasn't really planning to go to lokman's house. my actual plan was going out with syikin in KL but as she didn't fancy going back home alone, especially at night, she ask me to come to seremban with dean. dean agreed (dah kena pancing ngan satay, set je dia), and as we're ready to depart to seremban, he came up with the idea of staying in lokman's house for a few days. since i got class on monday till wednesday, i have to go back to kl instead of stying in lokman's house.

after the satay feast, we went to bahau before the night falls. we arrived at lokman's house at exactly 7.30 pm. we got to meet lokman's mom for the first time. she's very nice. and lokman got this new green stairs at his house as well.

after eating some biscuits and drinking nescafe, me and syikin headed to seremban. it was already 8.00 pm and we reached seremban at 9.30 pm. i was just on time when the comuter had to depart. i sit down and read the book i've borrowed from syikin.

i reached kl at 11 and took an lrt to kerinchi station as i've parked my car there.

it would be nice if i could stay at lokman's house with dean for a few days. but my class is much more important than that.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


so, the may day holiday is over. even me who's working in pizza hut which are glad to be open during public holidays got my day off. i didn't actually asking them for 2 days off. it's just that when i check my working schedule for saturday and sunday, my name isn't there. i dont know wether they forgot about me or they just know that i couldn't work (as i've always ask for a day off during the weekend for all sorts of reason). i was planning to give my own reason but as my name isn't in the schedule, i just keep my mouth shut. so i have a 2 days off during the weekend and as i wasn't suppose to work on monday and tuesday because i have class, and as it was suppose to be a public holiday, so i have no class on monday, i happily joined the other for a holiday as well! ahahaha.. i didn't really regret missing the opportunity to triple my salary working on public holiday as i've had a very nice weekend.

on saturday, i went to kl to fetch my beloved girlfriend. i wasn't really 'fetching' her. i went to kl by bus so it didn't count as fetching isn't it? but that doesn't really matter. we went to kinokuniya at klcc to bought this nick hornby books. they got this offer which they've packed 3 of nick hornby (nick horny?) books which is, high fidelty, about a boy and fever pitch into one price, which is $70. there was also the same offer for sue townsend, adrian mole series, but we didn't have enough money to buy both of it, so we ended up sharing money to buy nick hornby's books, 60 - 40. we wanted to watch tentang dia but she said that klcc's cinema is way too cold and she didn't bring along her sweater, so with nowhere else to go and do, we headed back to shah alam. i called dean to confirm whether he's at home or not, and since he's at the cyber cafe at sek 2 with my car, me and my girlfriend just drop by seksyen 2. we went to klang after that to have nasi lemak taman melur for dinner. its been quite some time that me and dean went there to eat nasi lemak and it was the first time for syikin. i dropped dean at home after that as he had to accompany at least i speak (it's an awesome band!) for their jamming session, while i dropped her at seksyen 7 where hafiza and her boyfriend was chilling out. i got back home where wan, zairi, adan and roti was already there. later on, i went lepak2 with zura and her boyfriend, hafiza and her boyfriend, and syikin, when suddenly pudin and atiah arrived to have their dinner, so they joined us. and later on, when at least i speak finished their practice session, they joined us as well, along with wan and the gang. all of us went into separate ways after that. the guys from at least i speak and wan and the gang stay for the night at the rumah kedai. i discuss our lyric for tomorrow with wan as there will be his part to sing as well. we didn't sleep for the whole night (they actually call it morning, but i use night to describe the darkness) as guys from natrah will be arriving at 5 o'clock that morning, and we have to fetch them up. dean, wan and i went to fetch them with 2 cars. on the way back, wan's car ran out of fuel. luckily we're able to call dean to bought some fuel.

so the day move on. it was sunday. the day of the may day gig. i only slept for a few hours. dean, wan and some other guys didn't even sleep! some of us went for lunch before going to the gig venue. we arrived at the venue at around 1.30 pm. only a few people was there. i went lepak-lepak at the mapley before going up at the venue to see what's going on. the gig started around 4 o'clock with at least i speak as the opening act. this was the first time i watched their performance. all that i could say is that they're awesome! they play some kind of screamo/emo violence with keyboard. they even cover one song from reain. their performance was aggressive as any band can get (at least at pauls place). the next band is sarjan hassan. i've bought their demo and i like it. they play typical trash. at this time, syikin called me asking for direction to this place. as she's just nearby, i went to the side of the road so that they could see me to make it easier for them to detect this place. there was also zura and her boyfriend, and hafiza. we have some drinks at the mapley before going up. syikin was the only one among them who was going while the rest of them have other things to do. by this time, sarjan hassan has finished performing and it's time for natrah on the stage. they took quite some time to set their equipment and sound. but i could say that this band was one of my favourite. i've watched they played sometimes ago at JB. their music didn't change much, just that they have this mellow part going on and off on each songs. as far as i could remember, they played faster while in JB. i like their old sound better, but their new sounds is great as well. they even cover one song from sweet charity for their closing set! ok, so nazzaq took the stage after that. as they said it, they play death grind. their sound was so tight and packed. the only thing thats missing is kia's drum beat. the drum is almost unheard. maybe the guitar was so loud, but overall, i really really like this band! it was rememories from singapore turn after that. shaiful zerox was their vocalist. i haven't heard their songs yet. borhan from bullwhip records had released their tape here. i was expecting something like lead II nitrate, but it's different. they play screamo with some grinding parts. they have this dirty sound. i think that's what they mean by pissed off screamo they stated on their flyers. as they're finishing, people are waiting for a legendary band, FSF!! the venue is packed with people while fsf played their set. people are singing along, moshing, slamming, creating circle pits and having fun! cool band!! the second last band was nyiblorong. as we're starting, people are going downstairs after a tearing the place apart with fsf. nothing to say much, just that i really felt tired after that. syikin said that my voice was scary. deported was scheduled as the last band, but as i'm soaked in sweat, i went downstairs with syikin and zeezam to have some fresh air and drinks. some friends was already at the mapley so we joined them. actually i was planning to go back upstaris to watch deported, but i felt so tired and lazy to do so. sorry man. i regret didn't see them played as some people claim that their sound could be compared to bad religion. they've came from taiwan and i missed their set. what a shame.

the gig went off great, if not for the broken transparent plastic they put in front of the drum. i really dont understand why they should put that thing. they insist that we leave it there even after the organizer requested to put it away, and then when it's broken, they want us to pay. urghh..

we went back to shah alam after that, and after having dinner with acad, jalut, pudin and otam, i sent syikin to hafiza's house...

i woke up early on monday. i followed syikin back to seremban, planning to watch some movies, but none of it seems interesting. suddenly we remember lokman and in no time, we're at bahau. i went back to kl at 7 pm and reached home around 10 o'clock. dean and pudin reached home from the book fair at pwtc shortly after that. mat pitt, fahmi and labu came at our house as we're relaxing after our day out.

so that's all for it. all that i could say is that i really enjoyed this holiday. the times spent with friends and girlfriend. thanks a lot to everybody who came to that gig and watched us played. chiow...

p/s : additional info - nyiblorong will also play in JB on this 22nd along with mass separation, kutabare, xyogyakartaX, bruce lee and other bands for a benifit gig for domestik doktrin.