some of us laugh, some of us cry, some of us smoke, some of us lie... but it's all, just a way that we cope with our life - starsailor : some of us

Friday, December 29, 2006

Goodbye 2006

click on the picture above. new pictures added..

And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

rock and roll will save the world

ok, so i'm back to school again. i've been in kl since tuesday. there've been some mistake regarding my marks, so i've to go back to kl early to make things right. luckily i did go to kl, otherwise i would be repeating that subject. no, i didn't ass kissingly beg the lecturer so that i didn't have to repeat the paper. he lost my report from one assignment and fortunately we found it lying on his messy table. yah, so it's just one subject. what could be so big of a deal in repeating one paper? it's a big deal when you've burn your ass up doing all the assignments, mostly by yourself without much help from other group members. luckily i didn't loose hope. it's interesting how much you can achieve if you just don't loose hope.

so people told you not to put your hope up too high so the fall wouldn't be that hard. let me hope for as high as i want. of course i'm afraid to fall and of course it hurt so much to fall from that height. but i just couldn't stop hoping. i just couldn't. let me hurt myself. i'll try not to bring anybody with me once i fall.

like i said before, my pointer improves. yah, so i got 3 pointer for last semester. thanks again to everybody.

this holiday was the shortest for me but it seems the longest i have to endure. not that i reallly looking foward for class to start.

have you heard about the story of the gold at the end of the rainbow? i'm chasing it right now. in fact, i'm gonna chase it for the rest of my life. i won't stop dreaming, and i won't stop chasing. call me stupid, call me naive. don't say that i couldn't see the harsh reality of life. maybe i am stupid and naive..

Sunday, December 17, 2006

hujan dari pagi sampai ke petang

don't tell me you didn't have a first impression on someone you've just met. i believe it's a normal instinct for everyone to actually judge someone they just knew from the outside. even if you're oppose to the idea, i still believe that a part of us want to measure and assume the personality of people before knowing them and set them into a certain level or even labelling them.

still disagree with me?

tell me how many times do feel shocked or in disbelieve when you heard a story of a so called human right activist beating his girlfriend? tell me that you're not shocked when rumor is out that your seemingly so religious cute neighbour who always keeps her tudung labuh on is a swinger who constantly practice one night stand? tell me you'll stay calm when a man with a well built body and a few scars which hints a few fight might've caused it, approach you in a dark alley, where there's no one else except you two?

you can tell me that these examples are extreme or whatever reasons you might have, but tell me if this doesn't indicate that human will always, or maybe sometimes, rely on their first impression to judge people.

i don't know why i bring this subject...

it's been raining here in jb from the morning till now. it's not continuous though. there've been a few short intervals in between the rainfalls, like right now. but i do believe that it will rain again in a short moment. it's been really cold. luckily the water heater still works, kalo tak memang mengiggil la gua mandi!

ok then. i'll bother you guys again tomorrow.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

the devil and miss prym

i've finished reading this book. a great book i could say, by a great author of course. tragically for me, this book actually concludes the trilogy And On The Seventh Day. The first two book inside this trilogy are By the river Pierda I sat down and wept and Veronika Decides to Die. fortunately Lokman has the first one, memang gua kena pinjam la kan!

ok, lets get back to this book..

as i haven't read the first two of the trilogy, i didn't know whether the three of them has anything in simmilar, but as i read on some of the book review, all of the three books has different story with different places and people.

as for this book, it deals with the view of life, religion and human nature. most part of it talk about how we, as a human will always has a good and evil side inside of us. and it's just a matter of controlling them, of these opposing poles inside of us, so that none of our action is evil. that eventhough these two forces keep battling inside ourself and we could do nothing to extinguish any of them completely, but we're capable of weighing which side we want ours to be. we are capable of making that decision and turn it into action. because the weight we're putting on any side we're on will be the weight of ours as well.

Good or Evil...

Angels or Demons...

there're things we couldn't control inside, but we certainly we could control our actions. unless we're mentally ill of course.

one other things which are significant in this book is how we accept changes in our lives. sometimes we're too afraid of changes that we hold back everything we believe in so that everything wouldn't get off the track of normalities. but sometimes, when we least expected, there're changes to be made, or has been made, and we have to be ready for that, as life does not look back.

so be ready my friend..

this is one of my favourite quote inside this book:

"..they seek suffering in the most joyous of places because they think they're unworthy of happiness."

i've just started reading nick hornby's fever pitch just now and there's an expired bus ticket from melaka to seremban.

hey, i'm reading one book per week. luckily i'm bringing home 3 novels to read, unless i'll left out the last week of my holiday doing nothing significant.

Thursday, December 14, 2006


have you ever wonder how dreams are created in your brain while you're asleep? how your brain could sometimes pick up pieces of unrelated events and peoples, and combined it to make a 'storyline' of your dream? and scary enough, how you could be dreaming of something that will occur on the day onwards (deja vu??), let it be in a direct or subtle way? don't tell me that you've never experience it, coz then, it would be really scary..

the japanese have invented what is called a dream machine, and they means it literally, not some 'dream machine', if you know what i means. this machine are said to have the capability of 'creating' your dream. i don't really know how they works but you can design your dream and watch it in somekind of simulation before you go to sleep. i just happen to read about it on utusan sometime ago during hari raya. i don't remember if it's raya haji or raya puasa..

so i've posted all my resume already. all are dilivered via poslaju. just to make sure that it'll arrive safely and..bak kata bongek, nampak bersungguh sikit. tapi sakit jugak la duit gua kan. mana taknya, sekali pos je dah makan $4.70!

naik sem ni gua nak try mintak exxonmobil pulak. saje je cuba nasib. tapi kalo takde cable + pointer tak gempak, aku rasa susah jugak la dia nak amik orang macam aku ni.

Monday, December 11, 2006


aku tengah pening kepala. mana taknya, sampai sekarang satu kompeni pun belum bagi aku reply pasal practical training kat tempat diaorg. aku dah talipon banyak kompeni. kebanyakkan kompeni oil & gas ni tak amik orang practical training. kalau ada pun, banyak yang dah penuh. harapan aku sekarang ni tinggal satu kompeni kat subang, sigurros. ha ah, nama dia memang sebijik nama band post-rock dari iceland tu. tapi kompeni ni tak pernah amik budak buat practical training lagi. dia boleh pertimbangkan kalo aku nak buat tapi nanti aku jadi bahan eksperimen laa.

sekarang ni aku ada satu cover letter je yang tinggal so aku kena buat keputusan bijak. perlu ke aku teruskan misi aku untuk mendapatkan placing kat kompeni oil & gas? perlu ke aku korbankan cover letter aku yang terakhir ni untuk apply ke kompeni/kilang bukan dari industri oil & gas tapi berkemungkinan besar dapat memberikan aku tempat untuk practical training?

mungkin korang cakap aku sombong pasal taknak mintak keje kilang. masalahnya aku bukan sombong. orang cakap kerja oil & gas ni gaji besar dan stabil. aku tak nafikan. tapi pada aku selagi korang rajin dan dapat cope dengan politik tempat kerja, semua tu tak jadi masalah. macam sepupu aku. jadi engineer kat kilang je. tak sampai 10 tahun keje dah boleh buat rumah sendiri guna duit sendiri, cash! siap boleh upah arkitek buat plan rumah lagi. tapi korang pepaham jela kalo keje kilang. balik kerja tak tentu pukul 5 petang. mau kena kerja sampai pukul 10 malam. OT pun kekadang takde..

mungkin tu yang membuatkan aku tawar hati nak masuk industri perkilangan ni. tapi tu semua tak penting. yang pentingnya aku dah ada aim apa aku nak buat lepas belajar. aku bukan memilih kerja. tapi buat masa ni aku rasa masalah memilih kerja ni bukan satu isu.

"it's not the chances we take, it's the choice we make that determine our destiny.."

dah pukul 2.00 dah. aku nak gi pos resume aku...

Sunday, December 10, 2006

cicakman dan kluang(man)

letih..aku letih. aku baru sampai dari kluang petang tadi lepas hantar adik aku. nasib baik aku ke kluang, kalau tak, mengadap cicakman la aku arini. kenapa? meh aku cerita..

dalam pukul 2.00 petang tadi sohar talifon aku. ajak aku tengok wayang. dia cakap dia kena bawak anak-anak buah dia tengok cicakman. dia ajak aku teman. nak ajak awek dia teman macam tak kena tempat kot. agaknya laa..

memula tu aku main ya kan je. yela, aku bosan. duduk rumah pun takde benda nak buat. lepas sarapan tiap-tiap pagi, aku basuh pinggan yang ada kat sinki. lepas tu sidai dan basuh baju. lepas tu takde benda dah aku nak buat. kalau ada benda kena repair tu boleh la aku menggodeh-godeh. aritu lampu fluorecent kat dining hall tu bunyi bising. makan dua hari la jugak aku nak kasi dia senyap. padahal nak kena tuka 'box' dia kat dalam tu je. tapi aku siap boleh bereksperimen dengan lampu dapur skali. takde keje la katakan. esok aku ingat nak kena naik bumbung laa. tempat yang aku dah katup dengan genting aritu macam bocor balik je.

ok, sambung cerita tadi balik. tak sampai 5 minit lepas sohar talipon aku, aku mula terpikir, bebaloi ke aku laburkan duit aku yang sediakalanya sedikit ni nak buat tgk cicakman? baik aku beli dvd. dvd kat the store tu pun dah 5 inggit skang. kalo aku kawtim cantek ngan tokey tu mesti dia boleh kasi 4 inggit satu. tak pun beli 3 dapat free satu.

melalut lagi aku. ok, 5 minit lepas sohar talipon aku tu, aku sms dia balik, cakap aku tak jadi pegi. dia balas, 'ok'. tak sampai seminit lepas dia balas tu dia talipon aku balik. dia ajak gak aku teman dia. dia cakap dia payung tiket aku. kesian member punya pasal, aku pun set je laa.

aku pun ready la nak mandi. nak tengok wayang la katakan. skali talipon umah bunyi. aku bajet sohar yang talipon. takkan cepat gila dia dah sampai. aku pun angkat la. skali rupanya adik aku si nurul tu. dia mintak tolong antar adik aku alia tu balik kluang. esok alia ada exam darjah khas. patutnya dia yang antar, tapi dia ada kursus kat pengerang tu. tak dapat balik awal.

aku pun serba salah laa. takkan aku nak menghampakan adik aku sendiri. kalo dia naik bas gi kluang tu memang tak sempat la masuk pukul 6. korang tau-tau je la curfew sekolah asrama ni. aku pun cancel la plan aku ngan sohar.

dalam pukul 4 gitu aku gerak dari taman rinting dengan alia ngan makcik aku (jeng jeng jeng!!). dalam pukul 7 aku sampai jb balik.

banyak jugak aku jumpa kete eksiden arini...

Friday, December 08, 2006

finally, i could read

i bought this book while i was wondering at the flea market in amcorp mall in p.j with fahmi. sold by an australian (if i'm not mistaken) woman who'd stayed in sarawak for a couple of years before coming to kl. yah, i chat with her for a while, maybe because she had quite a cute daughter with her, but she was friendly either way, so it doesn't matter anyway. so i found this book under the pile of some other books which doesn't seem to catch my attention until this book of 180 pages appears by the author of banana yoshimoto. i haven't read any of her masterpiece before. only heard it from the mouth of syikin and some websites, but still, i bought it without any hesitation. well, it just cost me RM5 and by the way, i've spared some money for a few of second hand books before going to the flea market.

i've also bought capote's in cold blood and paulo coelho's the devil and miss prym at payless books on the same day.

if you're wondering, this book by banana yoshimoto isn't a novel. it's a collection of 6 short stories written by her. all i could say about this book is it gives me gooseflesh while i'm reading it. the same gooseflesh i get when i'm watching a great movie or reading another great books.

i wouldn't review it as there're tons of reviews you guys could get on the internet. you can go here for info about her and here for reviews on her books.

i want to get hold of her other books!

by the way, i'm waiting for a friend to lend me gabriel garcia's one year of solitude. hope i could get hold of it before my busy-ness get a hold of my life! haha..

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

wednesday's child

i'm finally in jb right now. my dad went for his hajj last monday and so, i sent him to kelana jaya. my mom, sisters and brother were there as well. i left my car in shah alam and we went back to jb the next day by driving my dad's car. so i have to cancel my plan to go back to jb alone by car and dropping by to see some friends and relatives along the way.

..we wish we could travel so recklessly..

this is just a short holiday. right now i'm still figuring out a company for my practical training placement. i'm aiming for an oil & gas company. hopefully i'll get my placement soon enough.

Friday, December 01, 2006

a small victory

The small victories
The cankers and medallions
The little nothings
They keep me thinking
That someday
I might beat you
But I'll just keep my mouth shut

it just occur to me that i'm doing better for this semester. i'm talking about my pointers. not better as if i'm gonna get into the dean's list or something close to it. it just meant that i'm doing better. by the way, i haven't recieve my full and official result yet, so nothing's official.

thanks to those who helped and guide me throughout my studies and assignments. thanks to those who're willing to accompany and join me in the library or in the classroom till 4 in the morning. thanks to those who'd given me hint for some of the papers. thanks to all the lecturers (eventhough the probability of them reading this is almost low to none), and thanks to those who'd supported me, wishing me luck and maybe pray for me.

i shouldn't brag, but it is a small victory for me..

p/s: thanks to everyone as well..