some of us laugh, some of us cry, some of us smoke, some of us lie... but it's all, just a way that we cope with our life - starsailor : some of us

Friday, June 03, 2005

late posting

i don't know why, but nowadays, i used to woke up at 8 in the morning, even though i've only slept for 4 or 5 hours. maybe it's because of the heat, or maybe it was the urgency to go to the toilet. but of course lah, i slept again afterwords. that's what's happening to me now, waking up early, but still couldn't shut my eyes, yet.

our conversation can simply change from excitedness to unhappy. it can be anything that triggers it. just one simple words from any of us could do it. then there was this uncomfortable silence. silence that was mixed with ego or guilt or anger. sometimes the three of it could exist together, but sometimes, one could do it. the silence could get so long, that at the near end, i'm longing for her voice, really afraid that i couldn't hear it again, but this ego thing kept me from saying any words. at this point, i just regret what i've said. let it be me or her who 'triggers' the silence, let it be me or her who's wrong, just let me hear her voice again. i'll forgive her if she's wrong, i'll admit i'm wrong if i'm wrong, i'll try to change if that's should, but i won't let her hate me for something that could be resolved. well, most of the time, we could settle things down (obviously), coz sadness will haunt me so bad if i didn't do anything. ok, so before i sound to be more pathetic, let just say that i really hate it when we have this small fights, especially when i acted with my pure ego.

i've quit my job at pizza hut. today is supposedly to be my last day, but i'm still considering to work on saturday since tomorrow is a public holiday and so they will triple the salary. i tend to make this last minute decision. it is something that i shouldn't do more often, especially if it involves anyone else. coz by then, it will keep others waiting for my decision.

so, i think i'm gonna miss the vivisick and FxOxB gig this sunday. i kinda want to meet some friends during this gig but i have to go back to JB on sunday. dropping by isn't my option since i'm considering the difficulties for me to commute here and there. so, next time my friends. enjoy your day.

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